Know Thyself
Exerpt from CHAPTER FIVE
“Me With Me” by author Janet Caliri
Pages 74-80
Raising My Consciousness
In Chapter Four, I imagine it became evident that you have choice to either
claim your life or live like a victim. Which do you choose? Are you willing
to be a little uncomfortable reprogramming, experimenting and proving your
potential to yourself by seeing the tangible results? It’s easier to make choices
and change when you know yourself well. That includes the traits you dislike
and usually avoid. Those traits are just as useful as those you do like!
KNOW THYSELF
The more I know myself, the better my life works. The more information I
have about myself, the more I have to work with. To understand myself is to
understand others. Furthermore, I am less likely to take things personally. For
example, when I know my values, habits, boundaries, purpose, blind spots,
liabilities and strengths, I am better positioned to handle such things as communication
styles in relationships and personalities at the workplace.
One thing I know about myself, which is not often conscious but often
brought to my attention, is when I think I am feeling sensitive and vulnerable,
I am often protecting myself by being aggressive and, in my communication,
tend to push people away. Since I know this about myself, I am wise to immediately
vocalize that I am feeling sensitive and would like some support.
SIXTH SENSE
Carl Jung, the founder of analytical psychology, proposed that there are four
main functions of consciousness:
Perceiving functions: (1) sensation and (2) intuition
Judging functions: (3) thinking and (4) feeling
All of the functions are interwoven in my abridged communication model
(except the absence of (2) intuition):
(1) “Sensation” is the five traditional senses (seeing, hearing, smelling,
touching and tasting)
(3) “Thinking” is my story or interpretation.
(4) “Feeling” is emotion.
Intention (purpose, what for)
Data (facts, five senses)
Story (interpretation, perception)
Feeling (emotion)
Suggestion (idea, follow through)
I’d like to concentrate on intuition within the context of consciousness
and effective communication. As noted, intuition has no definitive data; therefore,
the “data/story/feeling” component of this model is null and void, and is
replaced with “intuition” (such as gut feeling, inner voice and hunch).
If I plug “intuition” (a knowing immediately without reasoning) into
those three slots, here’s what happens:
Intention: “To update you on where I’m at with our plans.”
Intuition: “I have a very strong gut instinct not to drive tonight.”
Suggestion: “I stay at home alone or you come over here.”
Trusting my perceiving functions can feel risky at times because I have no
facts to back me up in my communication. Taking a stand and making a
choice, based on my sensation and intuition only, strengthens my level of
ownership. With intuition, I get to be right!
Trusting My Gut
This year, I was training and raising money for Inside Out Community Arts
by way of cycling in the Los Angeles Marathon. I put forth the fundraising
letter to many people and trained regularly. A week before the marathon, I
was still hesitant to tune up my bike, which was out of character for me not to
be all prepared. Right in the middle of a coaching call, I remembered this
prominent message: “Do not bike the Los Angeles marathon!” This message
Trusting my perceiving functions can feel risky at times because I have no
facts to back me up in my communication. Taking a stand and making a
choice, based on my sensation and intuition only, strengthens my level of
ownership. With intuition, I get to be right!
∞
intuition—a sense of knowing immediately without reasoning;
a total knowing, without doubt or internal argument; a reaction
to a situation not based on knowledge about a person, but
purely on a gut feeling; a sixth sense; a gut instinct
Listening to my inner voice is about my emotional guidance system intertwined
with my values.
☼ What messages is my body sending me? What do they feel like? Are
they butterflies, fight or flight, projectile vomiting, pins and needles
all over or the emotion I have after recalling a dream?
☼ Do I have the same familiar feeling I once had in a particular
circumstance that went to hell in a hand basket?
☼ Do I feel confident and centered? Do I feel strong and willful?
☼ Do I feel deflated or ignited in the presence of this person?
☼ Might I be actualizing my passions in an unhealthy way?
☼ Do I feel respected in the presence of this person?
☼ Am I listening with my eyes and heart along with my ears?
PARANOIA
paranoia—delusional fear for oneself; imagination of things or
responses based on what one thinks they know about a person;
extreme and irrational fear or distrust of others; a tendency to look
for hidden meaning behind other people’s actions through
argumentativeness, complaining and low tolerance for criticism
When I am in a place of doubt, is it based on an intuitive hit or am I being paranoid?
This is the time to question my values and my truths.
☼ Is this the same “feeling” as the one I had in that previous disastrous
or victorious situation?
☼ What is the most loving choice to make now?
☼ Of what about myself am I certain?
This is the time I go within and meditate (be quiet), asking myself these
questions and allowing the answers to show up. The answers may be in the
form of words through a conversation that has nothing to do with my situation, such as a song or a coyote appearing in the middle of the road while I
am driving.
At times, I call upon my “red flag raisins” (a “raisin” is a friend who raises
the red flag for me when they see one). We have an open agreement in which
they are allowed to lovingly and compassionately share any red flags they see
with me. While it is beneficial to surround myself with like-minded people to
be my mirror and help me tell myself the truth, only I know my truth . . . no one else.
~ “When I listen to my inner voice, I make a healthy choice.”