Believing Can Be Misleading
You may have heard that saying, “Don’t believe everything you think.” with which I agree! Our inner critic tends to be in the driver’s seat unless we have a high level of self-awareness. Believing can be misleading, in the context of our choices, behavior, what we hear and see on the news, social media or directly from mouths of our loved ones. And most importantly, what we tell ourselves.
And so in this blog, I’m going to show you three steps to observing your beliefs with curiosity rather than belief. Like my clients, when they do these steps (my Neutrality Practice,) they create significant success in their relationships, mental & emotional well-being.
Interestingly, if we are not self-aware, our minds make up stories/narratives with which we then tend to believe. Then, we behave in such a way that supports that belief. From there we often develop resistance (an attachment or aversion to something/one.)
You can guess what may ensue! Stress, anxiety, overwhelm, depression disconnect, conflict, feeling stuck and wanting to disengage from the world.
In contrast, when we are curious (rather than resistant) we are present with what is, devoid of criticism, frustration and conclusions. Author Bianca Sparacino wrote in her book, Seeds Planted in Concrete , “Are you happy?” “In all honesty, no. But I am curious – I am curious in my sadness, and…”
What are the stories and beliefs I have about myself?
What do I believe about my difficult boss/partner/friend?
What do I believe about my current circumstances?
What do I believe about what I saw/heard on the news?
Are those beliefs for my highest good?
Second, using an example from above, do the Neutrality Practice by taking on the following three steps and notice how you feel during and afterwards.
Pause in curiosity regarding your thoughts and feelings about your contemplation. Avoid asking why you feel this way or why you have this narrative spinning in your head. Simply notice your thoughts and feelings.
To activate new neurons in the brain and the feel-good chemicals, dopamine and serotonin, take a photo of this resistance (your upsetting narrative.) Your photo can be abstract, literal, pantomimed, or literal.
Study the facts. Just the facts/objects. Avoid all adjectives (colors, shapes, sizes) and interpretations about the image. Those are what cause our suffering! Now, for two minutes straight, call out loud or quietly, the things you see. Repeat over and over for 2 minutes.
Like a muscle, our brain needs repetition and consistency in order to create change. Science says that lifelong change takes 90-265 days. Get ready, get those new neurons firing and enjoy your newfound freedom! You’ll see immediate results and of course, long lasting benefits when carrying out this simple photographic tool!
Join me where I share these tools to create more ease, joy and confidence in your life!