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  • Writer's pictureBeckett Arnold

Are You Being About Your Reasons?

Greetings from paradise (Sonoma County!) This morning after a glorious drive, I arrived at the gym at 6:40 after being up all night with the sweats.  As a woman in my early 50’s, I’m in the change and happen to be an expert in life transitions.  Thank goodness because this is for real! There is a fine dance between making excuses, being about my reasons rather than my commitment. In this case, staying committed to my well-being.

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A post shared by VisibleTransitions (@janetcaliri) on Feb 21, 2019 at 12:09pm PST

For example, yesterday morning, I chose not to go to the gym after tossing and turning blanket on, blanket off, from 12am until 5am. I asked myself, what choice is going to provide the BEST of me today? The answer was to stay in bed. I felt great all day and got to be a contribution to clients and friends.

There are several factors that help me be with what is rather than fight what’s in front of me (night sweats, no sleep, 5:30 am rise to the gym.)

First, I use my Neutrality Method to diffuse the resistance, fight, frustration I have around my situation. As a result, I immediately relax and choose with ease, what’s best from a place of curiosity rather than stress and contraction. Have you ever made a choice out of frustration, stress or fear? Do you recall the outcome? How’d that work for you? Check out this short video to learn the Neutrality Method 

Second, I have a success partner to meet me at the gym and cheer me on! She is compassionate and also helps me hold myself accountable.  Did I mention I despise the gym? Despise.

Third, using a smartphone camera, I track subtle progress of my new habit in gym attendance 3-4 mornings per week. Check out the evidence in these photos!

We are encouraged, motivated and confident not only when we track progress, but when we report it to someone like an accountability partner, coach or friend. Check out this article in Benjamin Hardy writes” “if you do not measure and report your progress, then you’re probably not making much progress at all. According to Pearson’s Law — when performance is measured, it improves; when performance is measured and reported, it improves exponentially.”

This is where Visible Transitions comes in handy! Tracking small and subtle evidences of your progress blows your mind! Remember the brain hates change…tracking subtleties feels like a warm cozy blanket to the brain. 😊

Fourth, seeing life as an experiment. Only I know what my body needs. Only I know what my heart desires. Approaching goals and change with this attitude of impermanence sets me up to win! With experimentation, there is no resistance. I am at choice in any given moment. As are you. Do you feel free now? One personal experiment since September is using a homeopathic gel, and what a game changer it is! Honestly, me talking with people before 9:00am in the fall/winter is unheard of. Me stepping out that door into my car before 10:00am is unheard of.  Now I have THREE extra hours in my day! My blood sugar levels have balanced and I’ve got stamina like a 25 year old! And on these recent awake nights in a bed of sweat, the next day, no problem!

That all said, I set myself up to easily keep my word and honor my commitments using these tools. Most importantly, the foundation of these structures is curiosity! My favorite word. Experimenting is curiosity, tracking subtle progress is curiosity, neutrality method is curiosity.

What are the benefits of being sincerely curious?

Expansive rather than contracted, respect and connection rather than reactive and triggered, awareness, play, openness, forgiveness, compassion, empathy, confident and effective communication, harmony, emotional intelligence. Did I mention, fun?!

What are the benefits of keeping my word and being bigger than my reasons?

Respect, trust, productivity, juicy experiences, adrenaline, vitality, having my needs met, being in integrity, being present for and uplifting others.

I invite you to share your outcomes and benefits. The above are some examples from clients and my own personal experiences.

In curiosity and gratitude,


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